Where is the love?

There have been a few times in the past week that I’ve been left wondering why it is that so many people seem to be lacking in basic human compassion and empathy.

I met a lovely lady online struggling with her own identity and trying to find where she fitted into the world being transgender. She reached out to me after I commented on something she wrote online about feeling unattractive. It got me wondering why she felt this way and why as a society we create this image of what we deem to be pretty and beautiful based solely on looks. It was clear from her reply that she had experienced many people judging her on her appearance and her life choices. She wanted so badly to be treated as a woman and not someone that was stuck in between. It made me really sad. I had only spoken to this lady for a matter of a few minutes but it was very clear to me that she was struggling. I wondered why other people she came across in her life couldn’t see that, or worse chose to ignore it and make her feel worse. I have no experience at all with transgender related issues but I didn’t need to have. All I needed was to have a heart and show some love. I explained to her that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is about much more than looks. It’s about being a thoughtful and caring person and wanting the best for those around you. I cannot understand at all how a person can be pushed away because of how they look, especially when they are feeling sad and vulnerable. It’s just not in my nature.

A few days later I’m sat in front of the TV catching up on celebrity big brother and I see Sarah Harding getting upset about comments other people have made about her. Now it might just be because of my own mental health issues, but it was obvious to me that she was struggling in that environment and felt alone. I don’t expect that everyone would recognise when someone is struggling mentally, but the girl was sat in tears in front of a group of people. That in itself should be enough for people to want to help her. It wasn’t an easy thing for me to watch, sitting at home. It was surprising to me that only one person reached out and gave her a cuddle and offered some reassurance. The rest just observed and one even felt the need at that time to offer a negative comment to further upset her. I’m always one for voicing an opinion if you feel strongly about something but there’s a time and a place. I really hope the TV company have mental health professionals monitoring the activity in there, because watching someones mental health decline is certainly not entertainment to me.

I think one of the positive changes depression has brought around in myself, is that I am now more observant of others and I will always show empathy and understanding when I can.  It helps me to help other people and it makes me happy if I can make even just a small difference to how someone feels. We need to show more love to those around us, free of judgement. Stop letting society dictate what standards we live by and choose for ourselves.


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